Having Children + Having Bipolar

A big issue my boyfriend and I have struggled with is the decision on whether to have children or not.

Both of us want children, and while there are some other issues to work out (him getting a full-time job; I want to be married first; etc.), I keep coming back to square one: am I too sick to have children?

I have talked to my psychiatrist about this; he was not at all supportive of the idea. He said I shouldn’t rock the boat, so to speak. My gynecologist and primary care doctor are supportive. They say it is a natural desire and when the time is right (I’m 33 so I would want that to be soon), I should go for it. I dislike my counselor and don’t really want to discuss this with her, and my friends are discouraging about the idea just on the principle that having children is somehow bad…even my friends with children. So I am a little lost.

I’m barely stable on meds…I can’t imagine being off of them. Since I have a history of suicide attempts, my gyno said I might have to be on some sort of meds.

One the one hand, I do wonder if my body will adjust, and relying on my support network will just become vital, but I will get thought it. OR, I will hit rock bottom and end up hurting myself and the baby.

Any feedback is welcome. Thanks!

What I’m doing

Talk about a long absence! I’ve let this blog lay fallow for all the long months of some severe ups and downs. In a nut shell, I am doing much better. While for the last few weeks I was having some trouble with low moods, I am back into the 70s on my Moodscope depression test score (read about how I use Moodscope’s wonderful test here).

I’ve been trying to reincorporate things that have been helpful in the past. Such as blogging, both reading and writing. My favorite blog hands down is bi[polar] curious: poppycock from the bipolar spectrum. Sarah, who is the blog’s author, just had her 2 year anniversary! Congratulations, Sarah!

One simple thing I did was to buy a new med planner after mine was misplaced in my latest move (more on that later). I’ve also started knitting again!

But I’ve also been looking for new things to help myself. I’ve subscribed to Bipolar Disorder Magazine. Once I get my first issue, I might post some interesting snippets.

So my plan is to post a new blog every Sunday. We’ll see how long that lasts!