Little happy surprises

Today was a day of little, happy surprises, which right now are the only kind I really can handle.

First it was rocks.

Since I have effectively flipped my nights and days, my evenings are now early morning. I wait around until other people are up or shops are open, so I can duck in and get a few things done. This morning I went to Cumberland Concrete with a mop-bucket and a spade, begging for rocks. Since they can’t ring anything up that weighs under 100 lbs., I was given leave to fill my bucket after I politely asked.

I felt a bit like a kid asking to play in the sand. Or like Mary from The Secret Garden. Can I have just a bit of rock…

White and yellow quartz, smooth and wet; they really are pretty.

Next, I stopped off at Surplus City for some 8 penny nails to secure the hanging baskets and got a pair of shiny working pliers to boot. I forget they are there all the time, but if they have what you need, they are super cheap.

Lastly, I stopped in Southern States. The hanging baskets are still on sale, so I got two more as well as a fuchsia tomato cage and 4 more bags of soil. I should be all set to transplant/rescue my rose from my parent’s old garden.

Going so early in the morning really helped with the social anxiety, not to mention those businesses are all relatively local and staffed by local people who have slow, meandering ways. While I used to really find that annoying, I find it very reassuring now for some reason. Some things don’t change, maybe. Or maybe because I was there so early, I thought they thought I was super on the ball. Or that I don’t feel that desperate pressure to be phenomenal that I always felt in classroom or workplace environments.

For example, when I was checking out at Southern States, I got a little confused by the math of my total. I made one of those nervous social laughs and said, “Math isn’t my strong suit.” The checkout lady said, “Me neither.” And rather than feeling my normal sense of competition or drive, I just calmly and easily replied, “Yeah, I’d have to take my shoes off.”

It was an extremely normal, local exchange. It felt comfortable, familiar, intimate. And I felt like I got a zillion things done by stopping at those three stores.

~~~

My next little surprise came after I crashed out and slept the day away.

I’d left the door open in case anyone knocked since I have so much trouble hearing over the fans. But when I awoke and went on the porch to check on Madame, I found a charming little basket nestled down in my new hanging baskets. The basket contained a tea towel and was filled with chocolate chip scones!

I love scones!

First I smiled. Then I spent some time wondering if they contained poison (still having some trouble with paranoid delusions). So I decided to stay up and turn on the computer to see if I could determine who left them on my porch. They were, in fact, from a good local friend I hardly ever get to see but is one of my emergency cat sitters in case of hospitalization.

She said, “I left something for you on your porch inside one of your planters. You don’t have to worry about returning the container. I left a message with your cat  ;-) but I wanted to let you know since it was some scones for you.”

What touched me the most was the unexpected and unasked for nature of the gift coupled with the whimsical presentation. I’ve been happily munching on them off and on for hours.

Luckily Madame must have understood my friend since she didn’t eat them. Madame is a carbs nut.

A few days ago, she surprised me at the door with her latest kill, not a mouse or bird, but a slice of French bread pizza with pepperoni and crawling with ants. She was so proud!

~~~

So that was my day/night. It is 5am now, and my counseling appointment is at 8am.

My plan is to go to my counseling appointment and then retrieve my rose. Then I will spend some time planting and messing about on the porch.

The biggest thing I must do is take out the trash! I don’t want to start “depression hording” again. That is just a slippery, slippery slope.

One question, for anyone reading (*crickets*), what is the best depression pick-me-up you have had? I think a lot depends on timing and just where you are, but I am curious…